CREST Act

Children Returning on an Expedited and Safe Timeline Act or the CREST Act - Prohibits the federal government from providing non-security assistance to El Salvador, Guatemala, or Honduras until the President certifies that the government of such country is: (1) actively working to reduce the number of unaccompanied alien children who are attempting to illegally enter the United States, and (2) cooperating with the U.S. government to facilitate the repatriation of such children. Requires the Secretary of State to carry out in-country processing of refugee applications in such countries. Authorizes the President to authorize the admission of up to 5,000 refugees from each of such countries in FY2014 and FY2015.

Amends the federal criminal code to prohibit any person from: (1) knowingly transmitting the location, movement, or activities of law enforcement agents with intent to further a federal crime relating to immigration, customs, or other border controls; or (2) knowingly, and without authorization, damaging any physical or electronic device used by the government to control the border or making any structure to defeat such a border control device. Applies enhanced penalties for carrying or using a firearm during an alien smuggling crime.

Prohibits any person, while acting for financial gain, from knowingly directing or participating in an effort or scheme to assist or cause five or more persons to enter the United States illegally. Applies enhanced penalties for violations of such prohibition that involve: (1) serious bodily injury to, jeopardizing the life of, or the death of any person; (2) ten or more persons; (3) robbery, extortion, or bribery or corruption of a government official; (4) subjecting any person to an involuntary sexual act; (5) confining or restraining any alien; or (6) smuggling an unaccompanied child.

Directs the Secretary of Homeland Security (DHS) to: (1) implement a strategy to deter, detect, and interdict human smuggling; and (2) submit an annual list of high traffic areas of human smuggling across U.S. borders.

Amends the William Wilberforce Trafficking Victims Protection Reauthorization Act of 2008 to: (1) eliminate special rules for the repatriation of unaccompanied alien children from contiguous countries and to subject such children to expedited removal authority; and (2) prohibit unaccompanied alien children from being placed in the custody of a nongovernmental sponsor or otherwise released from the custody of the U.S. government until the child is repatriated or has been adjudicated to be admissible or subject to an exception to removal, with specified exceptions.

Directs the DHS Secretary to ensure that U.S. Border Patrol agents receive appropriate training in immigration laws relating to screening, identifying, and addressing vulnerable populations.

Declares that it shall be the goal of the Attorney General, the DHS Secretary, and the Director of the Executive Office for Immigration Review to use sums appropriated to resolve immigration cases within 30 days from the issuance of a notice to appear. Requires: (1) the Attorney General to designate up to 100 temporary immigration judges; (2) the Secretary to hire 150 new immigration litigation attorneys for Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) and 100 new asylum officers for Citizenship and Immigration Services (CIS); and (3) the Director to establish a separate juvenile docket in every U.S. immigration court, with exceptions.

Sets forth reporting and monitoring requirements with respect to unaccompanied alien children who were discharged to parents or placed in a facility while remaining in the legal custody of the Secretary of Health and Human Services (HHS) pending resolution of their immigration cases.