Responding Equitably, Swiftly, Proportionally, and On-time to Natural Disasters Act of 2005

Responding Equitably, Swiftly, Proportionally, and On-time to Natural Disasters Act of 2005 - Amends the Robert T. Stafford Disaster Relief and Emergency Assistance Act to include among those methods by which Congress intends to provide Federal disaster assistance: (1) ensuring that assistance is adequate and allows individuals to maintain their pre-disaster quality of life; and (2) ensuring that minority and low-income individuals and households and those in underserved communities receive equitable assistance.

Makes State and local governments eligible for Federal disaster assistance for debris removal on private lands, retroactive to August 11, 2004, if: (1) such governments provide specified services to such lands; or (2) failure to remove the debris places the lives, health, and safety of those living in the community at immediate risk.

Makes individuals and households eligible to apply for Federal disaster assistance for a period of 18 months beginning on the date of declaration of a major disaster. Increases the amount of individual and household assistance.

Directs the Federal Coordinating Officer appointed by the President in response to a major disaster to designate a local coordinating officer for each affected county.

Requires: (1) Federal financial assistance for disaster relief and emergency assistance to be allocated, distributed, or approved only by employees of the Department of Homeland Security or other appropriate Federal agencies; and (2) preparation of a report (for submission to specified congressional committees) on the role and effectiveness of using private entities to deliver disaster assistance.

Establishes a disaster expert grant program, to be fully funded by the Federal Government.